The winning story from Room 6 came from Jasmine - check out it out!
So
there I was. Staring anxiously down at the choppy sea water. This was gonna be
the big one. I remembered how today
started off. “Quick! Get the sinker! Did
you put the flare and beaker in the boat? Oh! I forgot to put the salt in the
ice!” my dad screeched as he was frantically running round the house. As you
can tell, my dad isn’t organised. It runs in the family. But if there’s one
thing my dad is great at, it’s fishing.
A common thing for dad and I to do is
to go and catch some big ones, but today was different. Today was the day of
our huge hangi. Dad wanted to impress everyone by bringing in a monster snapper
to show off his fishing skills. When we were in the car, dad went over all the
rules. “Firstly, we must wear a life jacket. There ain’t nothing unmanly about
wearin’ one. Secondly, always measure the fish, because a small fish doesn’t
impress. Thirdly, pick up the fish with a wet towel and gently place it in salted
ice to keep it fresh. We don’t want no rotten fish at the hangi!” Dad went on
and on about the rules. He liked talking. I guess that must run in the family
as well. We rolled on around a corner that said ‘Marine Reserve.’ “Now Jasmine, you must never ever fish at a
marine reserve, because those fish are special and need protecting,” dad told
me. Finally, the car had made its stop. “Rightyho.” Dad scanned the sea water. It was a beautiful picture of blue scenery. “Let’s
put 'Sea Beauty' in the water.” Dad and I named our boat 'Sea Beauty', because it
was our pride and Joy. “Let’s go catch the big one!”
So
that’s how I got here. I had been patiently waiting for a fish to come and
nibble on my bait, and that’s when I got the tug. “Dad!” I cried. “Dad I think
I got one!” This was so exciting. The tug got harder and harder until I
couldn’t bare it any longer. “That’s it Jazzy! Pull it in!” Dad begged. I desperately yanked, and pulled,
and tugged. My arms ached and my legs hurt. My head was swimming like the fish
in the water below me. I was imagining how happy everyone would be, seeing the
monster that I caught and that gave me a huge tank of power. I reeled and
reeled with all my might. Dad was screaming with joy as I pulled up a huge
snapper! I was so shocked at what I caught, that I forgot what to do. Dad raced
to get the ruler. I nervously measured up my snapper. ‘Oh no!’ Dad cried
miserably. ‘It’s too big!’ My heart sank. The biggest fish ever and I couldn’t
take it home. My dad looked even more devastated then I did. I looked at the
fish. Even the fish looked sad. “Come on
dad." I stood up and walked over to him. “Let’s put it back in the water. After
all, it might have babies, and we can catch them another time!” Dad slowly
nodded his head. We placed it gently back in the water. The fish happily swam in
a few circles, then looked up at me. It looked as if it were saying thank you.
I nodded, and the dark blue water swallowed up the fish.
On
the car ride home, my dad took a left turn to go to the supermarket. A few
minutes later, he came out with a massive snapper in his hands. He cheekily
looked at me and winked. “Don’t tell anyone!” he chuckled.
I've just read this story, and was so impressed with your descriptive language. I've read it to Room 3. They reckon it's pretty good. We are going to print it, and use it as an example of a terrific descriptive recount.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jazz
Brilliant writing Jasmine, great story.
ReplyDeleteThat was a awesome story Jasmine. I hope you win the 'Hiwi The Kiwi' fishing rod. Well done!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant story Jasmine. I think this was a great story, because of all of the descriptive language and the humor.
ReplyDelete